bittersweet

By Bethany Heitman

You already know that most guys aren’t exactly master communicators. And while you’re willing to put up with a lot, certain phrases are as grating to your ears as the reject reel from

American Idol.

10. “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

Um, if we knew, we wouldn’t have asked. Plus, there’s nothing sexier than a man who can take the lead and plan a date. (Extra points for taking control after the date, too.)

9. “Shhh the game’s on.”
 

We get it, sports are important. But shushing us even when it’s a time-out is simply unacceptable. Just give us two seconds, and we’ll let you get back to the big game.

8. “Chill Out” or “Relax”

Nothing is more unnerving than being told to calm down. If you had estrogen, you’d get it. And you would also get periods, too — enough said.

7. “Smell this.”

We don’t want to be treated like one of your guy friends, so asking us to smell the leftover Chinese that’s been in your fridge for 6 months or gross old sneakers is just wrong.

6. “My ex did it this way.”

If you ever say this to us, we have every right to use our teeth — and then send you right back to said ex.

5. “Putting on some pounds, huh?”
 

The way we feel when someone says this to us is the way you feel when we ask, “Is it in?”

4. “Someone needs to groom down there.”
 

When you start offering up your junk to a woman named Helga with a vat of hot wax, you can complain about an errant hair or two on our body.

3. “I’m not in the mood.”

Really? We’ll remind him of that next time you wake us up (from a dream starring Christian Bale) with morning wood.

2. “Your sister is hot.”

If you are dumb enough to go there, you’re going to have to put up with listening to our fantasy that involves your brother, your best friend and maybe even your boss.

1. “Are you on your period?”

It doesn’t matter if the answer is yes, no, or almost. Unless you want to buy our tampons from now until we hit menopause, you should avoid asking.

repost from: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationships/Top-10-Things-You-Never-Want-to-Hear-a-Guy-Say

I want to study the psychology behind trauma and the healing process. Lord knows I need it.

You don’t understand, do you? Trusting was never a problem. You’re a very bad liar and my intuion’s just insane like that.

What I don’t want is not being able to control you and predetermine your moves. And I’m twisted like that, I guess.

I don’t want you seeing ghosts and corpses, especially those I’ve killed. Winning means moving away from all of this, don’t you see?

—

Sometimes it disturbs me how my life turned out to be, how cliche it is  and how meaningless and empty it is at times.

I still am aiming for world domination but growing up just makes me realize how harder and how bigger the world really is.

I’m supposed to be doing my comparative literature anthology critical introduction.

Yet I’m here.

Ooooh because it’s new and it’s fun
Recently found out that Gelo resurrected his old blog. I miss his old posts there. Especially those about me, of course. But I guess it was for the better that he killed his old blog. I mean, I really don’t want to know his sentiments about exes and shizz.

Same goes for me, I guess.

Okay I consider Gelo as my first serious relationship but let’s face it, he wasn’t the first boy I was romantic with.

There’s… and… and…

And even when I met Gelo already, there’s…

But let’s not go there. The important thing is we’re together and I won’t exchange him for anything/anyone else.

Yes, I’m pretty proud of the fact that we held on for this long. I consider it an achievement that I’m his longest relationship. (period, really)

It’s a kind of achievement that gives you a fulfillment that no grade can ever can.

—

It’s life, really. It’s more important.

I don’t know how the new page works. I’m that bobo with complicated blogs. Haha.

Anyway, a bit of update.

I’ve my last exam on monday (Sociology 101) and I’ve a meeting on the 22nd and the 23rd or 24th.

Oh and it’s my birthday on the 21st. Haha.

I remember my birthday last year. Debut, cmon! It was so fun seeing everyone! And well, it was just so fun.

I miss parties. And sleeping over.

Or being away from all acads bec this sem has really been hell.

*Rantsamore*

Anyway, happy sembreak, y’all!

The only way the past can haunt you is if it’s haunting.

How can it not haunt you? Stop making your life haunt-able.

Ergo, stop killing people, stop hiding corpses in your closet and dirty lingerie of former lovers under the bed.

Bleach your whole room, then evacuate, then douse with oil and light with fire.

Stand outside house and see house burn (preferably with current missus).

And like, fuck. I’m not studying. Because I’m thinking about so many things.

Screw life.

Of actual going to school and this sem is finito. I can finally breathe.

—

I was browsing through old notebooks and I happen to run into old poems I made.

I really had this distinct melody to my poems. So unfortunate that I lost it. I think depression makes me rhyme.

Will post old poems here sometime.

One’s called “Ephemeral Surrender”

First line goes “your presence causes pandemonium”

and had this line “ours is a jargon of the most dangerous desires - the paradigm of ambivalence”

It’s sad I can’t rhyme like that anymore. I miss writing poems.

Things I’m currently addicted to:

1. Detective Conan (because he never goes out of style)

2. Kaitou Kid (see number 1)

3. Manga

4. Love

5. Self

6. Feet

7. Oh great mysteries and the unknown

8. How I met your mother + Gossip Girl

9. Sleep

Because I’ll hibernate when this sem is over. This sem was hell. Oh wait, still is.

Shizz. F’ster has new layouts for their blogs.

Might blog here again.

I’ve got some pretty emo stuff here haha.

Shux I missed this. I mean, I grew up trying to maintain this site and all. Gelo and I even used our blogs to converse when we had our self-imposed hiatus ages ago. AGES ago.

And yes, we’re still together and v happy. Who ever thought that we could last this long, right?

The world calls them Byrons. They’re dangerous, exciting yet darn right attractive. Some call them the Draco-type. I just call them love. Ever since I was a little girl, I didn’t dream of a knight-in-shining-armor who whould whisk me off my feet and take me to the land of happily-ever-after; I dreamt of a Byron who would constantly entice me with his words and life, mystify and captivate me to the point of obsession - someone who would fall for me over and over again.

***

Characteristics of the Byronic Hero

The Byronic hero–so named because it evolved primarily due to Lord Byron’s writing in the nineteenth century—is, according to Peter Thorslev, one of the most prominent literary character types of the Romantic period:

Romantic heroes represent an important tradition in our literature . . . . In England we have a reinterpreted Paradise Lost, a number of Gothic novels and dramas . . . the heroic romances of the younger Scott, some of the poetry of Shelley, and the works of Byron. In all of these works the Byronic Hero is the one protagonist who in stature and in temperament best represents the [heroic] tradition in England. (Thorslev 189)

A Byronic hero exhibits several characteristic traits, and in many ways he can be considered a rebel. The Byronic hero does not possess "heroic virtue" in the usual sense; instead, he has many dark qualities. With regard to his intellectual capacity, self-respect, and hypersensitivity, the Byronic hero is "larger than life," and "with the loss of his titanic passions, his pride, and his certainty of self-identity, he loses also his status as [a traditional] hero" (Thorslev 187).

He is usually isolated from society as a wanderer or is in exile of some kind. It does not matter whether this social separation is imposed upon him by some external force or is self-imposed. Byron’s Manfred, a character who wandered desolate mountaintops, was physically isolated from society, whereas Childe Harold chose to "exile" himself and wander throughout Europe. Although Harold remained physically present in society and among people, he was not by any means "social."

Often the Byronic hero is moody by nature or passionate about a particular issue. He also has emotional and intellectual capacities, which are superior to the average man. These heightened abilities force the Byronic hero to be arrogant, confident, abnormally sensitive, and extremely conscious of himself. Sometimes, this is to the point of nihilism resulting in his rebellion against life itself (Thorslev 197). In one form or another, he rejects the values and moral codes of society and because of this he is often unrepentant by society’s standards. Often the Byronic hero is characterized by a guilty memory of some unnamed sexual crime. Due to these characteristics, the Byronic hero is often a figure of repulsion, as well as fascination.

- http://www.umd.umich.edu/casl/hum/eng/classes/434/charweb/CHARACTE.htm

The Byronic Hero is a creation of the narrative poetry of George Gordon, Lord Byron.  The hero of Byron’s highly successful Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage (a vaguely autobiographical work) exhibits many of the characteristics; other Byron works featuring the Byronic Hero include The Corsair and Manfred.   

The Byronic Hero

• is a rebel (against convention, society, etc.)
• has a distaste for society and social institutions
• is isolated from society (a wanderer, an exile)
• is not impressed by rank and privilege (though he may possess it)
• is larger-than-life in his ability–and his pride
• has a hidden curse or crime
• suffers from titanic passions 
• tends to be self-destructive

One of the key connections that may help you understand the Byronic Hero is that he is, in some ways, like the Romantic conception of Satan in Paradise Lost–the rebel who fights against a tyrannical establishment but is destroyed by his own overwhelming pride.  This figure is an unconventional hero–dangerous and destructive, but admirable because he is larger than life.

- http://spider.georgetowncollege.edu/english/allen/byron2.htm

***

Must I have a song for the Byron types, it would be Kelly Clarkson’s Beautiful Disaster.

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as dammned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
It just ain’t right

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster