bittersweet

Ang oras di lang tumatakbo, paminsan-minsa’y napagtritripan na rin nitong mandaya - kaya lagi na lang ito nananalo.

Ang mga pagkakamali, tumatambak na.

Ang mga araw, di na pwedeng balikan.

Ang mga gabi, di na pwede ibalik.

Ang mga ngiti, mahirap takpan.

Ang mga luha, mas magandang pagmasdan matuyo.

At para mawala ang luha, mga luha rin ang pinanghuhugas.

Dahil magulo na.

Dahil wala ng nakakaintindi.

Malamang, pati na ng Diyos.

Screw Doreen I blame Doreen for my current melancholy.

Darn.

I mean, really. I’ve always wanted to disprove the claims of my schizophrenia but really, not this way.

Cheers. Here’s to another weird and ambiguous post.

Must love them.

PS I am now going to be famous worldwide.

After all the emo posts, the bashing, the reform, the nights and days and afternoons, happinness is still possible.

I was kind of surprised myself. I guess there’s still that in the world.

But I’m kind of scared of extreme happiness, you know. I have this mentality that after a happy exprience, it will be followed by a sad one with the same kind of degree or intensity.

I wish I wasn’t so paranoid.

And I just hope and pray that you’ll save me.

Please do. I badly need you.

—

Comfort in your strangeness

-Cynthia Alexander-

woke up this morning

I was staring at the ceiling

Cracks and roadmaps and highways and landscapes

I have seen

I have been

to places far and deep in my mind

only to find

Comfort in Your Strangeness

Of moving shadowss

when I call the wind by name

rushing Firewater in the dark of a cloud

I have seen

I have been

to places far and deep in my mind

only to find

comfort in Your Strangeness

we are slaves to the crimes we commit

in fits of passion we shame

we are nothing

we are nothing

we are nothing

we are nothing but

the dust on Your feet

dying to be born again

singing Ether Water Fire singing Earth Singing Air

I have seen

I have been

to places far and deep in my mind

only to find

Comfort in Your Strangeness

I have seen

I have been

to places far and deep in my mind

only to find

Comfort in Your Strangeness

… Because I dunno, maybe I want more than revenge. At the same time, I’m asking myself if all this is worth it. What will I gain, really?

Though it feels good to know that I don’t belong to the losing side, that I really can’t empathize. I’ve been there and know how awful it feels. I’ve got what I asked for. It’s exactly what I asked for yet, I still suffer… Just a bit compared to you, at least. All I have to do is listen to your crap, after all.

—

"There’s A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet"

-P!ATD-

Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
From that moment you’ll be out of place and underdressed.
I’m wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and…

Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
From that moment you’ll be out of place and underdressed.
I’m wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and…

When you’re in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes
Whoa, everything goes according to plan.

I’m the new cancer, never looked better, you can’t stand it.
Because you say so under your breath.
You’re reading lips "When did he get all confident?"

Haven’t you heard that I’m the new cancer?
Never looked better, and you can’t stand it

Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and
I bet you just can’t keep up with, (keep up) with these fashionistas, and
Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign.
I bet to them your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh…

Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears.
And keep telling yourself that "I’m a diva!"
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table,
they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin.

I’m the new cancer, never looked better, you can’t stand it.
Because you say so under your breath.
You’re reading lips "When did he get all confident?"

Haven’t you heard that I’m the new cancer?
Never looked better, and you can’t stand it

Haven’t you heard that I’m the new cancer?
I’ve never looked better, and you can’t stand it

Haven’t you heard that I’m the new cancer?
I’ve never looked better, and you can’t stand it

And I know, and I know, it just doesn’t feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I’ve never been so surreptitious, so of course you’ll be distracted when I spike the punch.

And I know, and I know, it just doesn’t feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I’ve never been so surreptitious, so of course you’ll be distracted when I spike the punch.

And I know, and I know, it just doesn’t feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I’ve never been so surreptitious, so of course you’ll be distracted when I spike the punch.

I’m free, so says the constitution and the status of being single. I can shout, kick, cuss as much as I want and won’t give an effing care about what people say.

The problem with me is, I’m too kind and it would take me a while before I realize that I’m mad and should’ve told you off or something.

So there.

Shut the fuck up. You can’t dictate what I think, what I say and who I bash. You don’t own me.

I can bash as much as I want, low as it may sound. I’m being a hedonist for a while, see and I do whatever makes me feel better, whatever makes me happy.

I can call anyone a bitch and if you’re affected, hurt or wold just like to cry, honestly darling, I couldn’t care less.

Now, all I have to do is say all these to your face. Hmm, maybe when you’re less fragile and less pathetic.

—

Thank you, fellow bashers and all those others who have motivated me and made me realize how stupid I can be. I need a good slap of harsh reality every once in a while. Keep on slapping me if I don’t keep up with the improvement. You have my consent, really… I’d rather be an ice queen than a pool of tears.

Ooh I love Cherry Lips. Don’t you? It reminds me of Belinda by Anne Rice. Gaaah! Speaking of this famed vampire chronicles author, I so want to have a copy of the Beauty Trilogy. Only read a few chaps of the first installment, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty and I was like, I need to have thiiiis! So there.

Here’s Cherry Lips, btw.

—

Cherry Lips

-Garbage-

She gave you everything she had
But she was young and dumb
She’d just turned twenty-one
She didn’t care to hang around
So when the shit came down
Why she was nowhere to be found
This life can turn a good girl bad
She was the sweetest thing
That you had ever seen

You’re such a delicate boy
In the hysterical realm
Of an emotional landslide
In physical terms

With your cherry lips and golden curls
You could make grown men gasp
When you’d go walking past them
In your hot pants and high heels
They could not believe
That such a body was for real
It seemed like rainbows would appear
Whenever you came near the clouds would disappear
Because you looked just like a girl
Your baby blues would flash
And suddenly a spell was cast

You hold a candle in your heart
You shine the light on hidden parts
You make the whole world wanna dance
You bought yourself a second chance

Go Baby Go Go
We’re right behind you
Go baby Go Go
Yeah we’re looking at you
Go baby Go Go
Aw we’re right behind you
Go Baby
Go Baby
Yeah we’re looking at you
Go

Shared habits indeed are funny.

Oh please, please, please be my saving grace. I need you now more than ever.

Gah it’s so hard to blog when I have to filter things.

*sighs*

Sunsets, phantom thieves, red roses, strings and breaks in between… All ephemeral and deliberately clandestine.

Been living off movies and libre to death for the past week or so.

Windstruck, the prequel of My Sassy Girl, almost made me cry. Dammit! *sings* So won’t you staaay just a little bit looongeeeeer! Gusto ko rin ng katampisawan sa ulan!

Watched 1408. Read reviews of it and said it was good and i thought it would be scary but it wasn’t. Kudos to the special effects and cinematography, though.

Also watched Daywatch. Just a BIG reminder: DON’T and I mean DON’T watch this if you’re not aware of Nightwatch and you walk into the movie house in the middle of the film. If ever you do arrive in the middle, I suggest you sleep until the end and wait for the next screening so you could hear the narration and explanation at the beggining. It’s the effing missing piece of the puzzle that would tie up everything. Trust me. This is based on experience.

Movies on our list: Get Smart, Stardust, Korean Film Festival at UPFI… er and what are the others?

Now, for the batian portion! Thanks to my blockmates for the Friuli panlilibre! Also to my fellow bashers, who makes libre whenever opportunities present themselves. I love them to death. Oooh and of course to my lovable little brother, who gave me transpo, my tita Lucy, who "donated" 50 bucks, Tito Ramil, Tita Caye, Tita Rona, Juami and Lila, who accompanied me to SM Manila and made commuting so much more bearable, Dadi, Tito Dennis and Mami, who are responsible for my spend-less trip to and fro Rotonda… and of course, to my other brother (the non-filial one at that) who have been spending for me since our reunion. Really. Thank you guys for putting up with me even if I’m this horrible, horrible biatch. *hugs and kisses everyone* I love you all! 

There’s something v sweet about Lifehouse’s new music video. There were lovers here, lovers there, lovers fooling around and such. *sighs*

Was swooning the whole time while watching the new music vid but when the song finally came to a halt and the last scene faded out, I blurted, "Aaaaw… Magbrebreak din kayo lahat! Bwahahaha!"

>;p

—

I like this song better, though. It’s bittersweet - just the way I like it.

Bittersweet - in Filipino, pait at tamis, pinagsamang lungkot at ligaya.

Okay, tama na ang drama at heto na ang kanta. Enjoy!

Hey Jealousy

-Gin Blossoms-

Tell me do you think it’d be all right
If I could just crash here tonight
As you see I’m in no shape for drivin’
And any way I ‘ve got no place to go

And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I ever had
I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago
I might no be alone

Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take its place

Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy

You can trust me not to drink
And not to sleep around
And if you don’t expect too much from me
You might not be let down

‘Cause all I really want’s to be with you
And feel like I matter too
If I didn’t blow the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you

Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take its place

Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy
Hey jealousy

Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found to take its place

Hey Jealousy
Hey Jealousy…

Listen to my heart
There’s only one thing I can start